… [ emery ] …

1. kejadian akhir2 ini gimana?
:: as fucked up as ever

2. 1 minggu ini ada yang buat loe sakit hati?
:: jd sapi perah sekaligus anak buangan cukup menyakitkan.. dikatain kurang inisiatif tapi giliran maju dimentahin juga cukup menyakitkan.. *senyum kering*

3. 1 minggu ini gimana ma keluarga lo?
:: told ya.. fucked up.. but we still manage to survive just yet.. at least them without me

4. 1 minggu ini hubungan sama temen2 lo?
:: hmm.. friends.. haven’t heard that term for quite some time lately..

5. 1 minggu ini kehidupan cinta lo?
:: he’s always there.. and i’m always here.. so..

6. 1 minggu ini yang paling lo seneng?
:: *menerawang*

7. 1 minggu ini lo sempet benci ma orang?
:: sbnernya gw ga mau benci.. tp knp ya ada aja mahluk kya gtu? bingung gw..

…sekian dari kehidupan saya hari ini…

I’m walking down the line

That divides me somewhere in my mind

On the border line

Of the edge and where I walk alone

Read between the lines

What’s fucked up and everything’s alright

Check my vital signs

To know I’m still alive and I walk alone

                                       … [Green Day] …

When the wheel of life has turned upside down, twisting and twirling you up till you vomid [like probably about now].. my head usually starts to wonder to another completely pointless issue such as.. Is smoking dangerous? [talkin bout insanity.. doh!] I personally haven’t tried to smoke.. but it did cross my mind lotz of times.. especially in times like these.. pfff.. Well anyway, hell yeah it is dangerous!  But when I came to think about it over and over again.. Isn’t it just somekind of a runaway method where people tend to take when they’re fully distressed? Ok. Let’s be more specific. I just think that it’s a same self-devastating method as listening to aching mellow music after a terrible day, where you cry your heart out [and ended up in such a knocked out condition with a freakin terrible headache - as if it's been smashed with a HUGE sledge hammer] or beat yourself up till you bleed [hoping that the pain will neutralize your aching soul] Did it work? At times.. probably.. But mostly, nope..

I myself prefer to threw myself into music.. the headbanging. full of screaming ones.. or the sexy dance-licious ones where I tend to shake the f**k out of my a**, get down and dirty on the dance floor [yeah.. talkin' bout a split personality] or maybe just to C.R.Y.. In anyhows, I’m just another human being with a hollow soul.. trying to find my way back.. am just currently feeling hopeless, but it’ll pass.. soon enough..

… crossing my fingers, till that day with a brighter sun …

Ok.. Ok.. I’m
writing!!! For those of you who’ve been asking where the hell did my posts go..
Here I am again.. Sitting behind my working desk at the office, zipping my
second mug of coffee (can’t really say cup since it’s huge! ;p), plugging my earphones on, typing a new
post for my fresh-made blog.. Just got back from a meeting with my boss and several colleagues..
Life’s actually been quite better since I met them hehe.. Got to
laugh more often just bcoz of some stupid spontaneus jokes (talkin’
bout blessings in disguise!! ;p)

Now where should I start? Hmm.. Been truly busy
lately with stuffs at work, all those freakin school reports (which I
purposely stacked up for the last half year.. LOL xD) AND especially this
utterly annoying visa procedure, which I need to work on to actually get back
to Holland.. *sigh*

Life back here went kinda slow. Can never expect living with ur parents might cause such inner stress (T_T) Everything’s a problem. Transportation, night hours even things that went into my mouth!!! *breathe in.. breathe out..* Am feeling so damn bored with my daily routines: home - 2 hours of traffic jam - office - another 2 hours traffic jam - home.. And don’t even start questioning my weekends >:| ZERO night life! Be at home on 10 PM or be mad at [OUCH! ><"] Me dunt wanna look back to my old dayz back in the neds.. but I can’t really help to remember how happy we were back then.. A bunch of idiots living in our somewhat-expensive-yet-comfy apartment (or should I call it a lazy nest? :P).. doing
whatever we wanna do, eating whatever we wanna eat, going anywhere we
wanna go.. no boundaries, just plenty of games, good food and MOVIEZ!! slurp! =9 Just PERFECT!! We can live our life JUST LIKE WE WANTED IT TO BE..

Ok.. now stop looking back and take a look at the bright side.. 4 months to go and PUFF!!! Hello Amsterdam!! Seriously can’t wait to have another taste of Smuller’s patatjes and Swirl’s ice cream!! (Diet my a**!!!!!! XD) Man, I’m hungry just thinking of it! LOL.. Well that’s about enuf for today.. 6 PM and still am waiting for me dad to pick me up..  Lemme see what I can write 2morrow.. Will post again soon.. Ciaoo!

v(^-^)v